Beautiful morning

I woke up around 7:32 AM to a very loud rain ! ..its raining! xD

its kinda gloomy outside my window, and i can see the rain drops on it..

Btw, when i was little i used to get scared of thunder and lightnings xP

aww this is nice, i was looking for a reason to wake up early to do things, just perfect.

I sat in the back seat of the car, putting my head low and letting my frustration flow out of me, in tears..

This senior year is a very sensitive time for me. I wish to silence them all. talking about my future through their tongues, controlling how my own life ought to be lived like. Shutting away my dreams and disliking my rebellious ideas.

They say i will not study college away from home, that no one has the time for me, no one to go with me as a "mi7ram". Father will surely not retire just to come with me and brothers cant. And i stand clueless and lost, What do i do now?

I know, there are some things islam guides to, even if i cannot understand an obvious reason behind it, i must have faith..Yet i wonder, in this retarded place why must a woman's fate and destiny be left to hands of a man?

And they cant see things the way i do. Even though I know medical school here is somewhat excellent. But i want what's more, if i can have what's better, and if they want whats good for me, why wont they agree?. I guess, they just want to have me near, but this is my own life, am growing up into a responsible person, they have to understand.. I cant see a future for me in here, really, i need to seek after my future elsewhere. 

I will try to Shape up my abillities and skills, i will work on myself, to fit into all the requiremets of a scholarship, and i will apply to every possible college, and see whatever i get.... 

After all, it is said to shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land among the stars.   

In vain have i struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.
(Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen - Mr Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet)

You pierce my soul. I am half agnoy, half pain. Unjust i may have been, weak and resentful i have been, but never inconstant.
(Persuasion, Jane Austen)

After i have left you, i always feel sad... In my mind i endlessly relieve your kisses, your tears, your amorous jealousy and the many charms of peerless josephine rage in my heart and in my senses like a scorching fire.

I do not love you at all; on the contrary i detest you. You are an uncouth creature, stupid and good for nothing... Soon i hope to take you in my arms and cover you with a million burning kisses..
(Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine)

My love is as a fever, longing still
For that which longer nurseth the disease..
For i have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night
(William Shakespeare)

I look back, and in every one point, every word and gesture, every letter, every silence - you have been entirely perfect to me - i would not change one word, one look. My hope and aim are to preserve this love, not to fall from it..
(Robert Browning)

On my last great disappointment i should have lost my courage but for you - my dear little wife. You are my greatest and only stimulus now, to battle with this uncongenial, unsatisfactory and ungrateful life.
(Edgar Allan Poe to Virginia)

Piercing

Sometimes Parents can be sooo "old school" that they may not allow you to pierce anywhere other than EAR..

Ive been wanting to do something "different" for a change, and i started thinking that ear-helix (rim)-piercing can be cool -if i had my hair up in a pony tail or so..

One of my friends has a piercing like that, so i asked what my friends would think of it on me, but they said it doesnt suit me :S but im not falling for it! (how dissapointing!, whatever)

For the mean time, i found a fake earring that can be easily put in place and removed, im putting it on to experiment.. To see if id like it or not!

Wish i had a pretty school uniform atleast

if i wore a decent looking uniform, atleast that would make me feel like a RESPECTED human going to school for the highly significant cause of getting educated :-)

but i wear uniform al 7ookoomi -pardon- al 3efen ! And my school has al rajhi's 7ookoomi buildings which as soon as your car stops by in the morning u get horrible depressing thoughts of going inside that building :-) ya la6eef, ya sater :-) :-)

Wants any of these

- iHop "Hawaiian pancakes - the red one" :""( !!!!

- Sweet tarts or Nerds candy!!

- Ben & Jerry's icecream!

- Snickers

- Muffins

- Cookies

- Oreos & Milk

- Cake or Cheesecake

- Hot chocolate

Ah at last, weekend! (i seriously need to sit back and relax).

My first week of 3 thanawi sucked!!! School's screwing around with us :p, our time-tables are all mixed up dammit. Well i hope they work things out by next week! Mine-so far- is this:

1- 7adith
2- chem (3)
3- mharaat edariya (not sure)
4- math (4)
5- arabic (3)
6- physics (3)

its very hard on us tho! Since the beginning its been awful. There's nothing more i want to do now than take a nap but i cant get any sleep as am feeling mad+stressed..

I guess if i try my best in this semester, the next will be easier.

(there's no reason but wud it be fine if i cry now just like a stupid girl cause i had a bad time?)

Aarrrggh I hate "the backwards type with hot-cold personality which in this day and age is late. Prefering smile-cool type (the smiling type and the cool looking type)" LoL LoL LoL